Understanding and Overcoming Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can be overwhelming at a minimum, and debilitating at its worst. However the more you understand social anxiety, the more empowered you will be to address it, eventually gaining confidence and even beginning to enjoy social situations. Below, we will explore what social anxiety is, how it is defined in a clinical sense, and practical strategies to overcome it.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social Anxiety Disorder, often referred to as social phobia, is more than a case of the occasional nerves or feeling shy. It is characterized by the DSM-5 as “a marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations where individuals may be exposed to possible scrutiny by others, fearing they will act in a way that will be negatively evaluated.” In other words, it is an intense, persistent fear of being watched, judged, or humiliated in social or performance situations. This fear can make everyday interactions feel overwhelming, but it can also disrupt daily life, which is an indication that it needs to be addressed. Social anxiety typically starts in late childhood or adolescence, and it can persist and worsen with time if left untreated.
What Are Some Signs of Social Anxiety?
In children, a telltale sign of social anxiety is school refusal, or when a child tries to get out of going to school by crying and pleading, throwing a tantrum, or pretending they are sick. In adults, social anxiety often shows up as an inability to perform at work, for example struggling to speak up in meetings or fumbling or freezing during a presentation. It can also cause difficulty in establishing and maintaining relationships, and people with social anxiety can feel socially isolated even though they may desire and value relationships.
One of the hallmarks of social anxiety is avoidance, which makes sense given how uncomfortable it tends to be. Many people with social anxiety worry for weeks leading up to a social event or performance, and then will either endure the event with extreme discomfort or back out of it altogether in order to avoid feeling embarrassed or rejected. However, this is when it can really start to become problematic for people because they begin to constrict or rearrange their lives in a way that is not conducive to their wellbeing or success.
How Can You Overcome Social Anxiety?
While social anxiety can feel insurmountable, the good news is that there is effective treatment for it. Sometimes it is necessary to enlist the help of a therapist when addressing social anxiety; if this is the case, look for someone who uses evidence-based treatments such as Exposure Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). However, you can also try using some of these strategies on your own:
Gradual exposure: Face the social situations you fear, starting with less intimidating ones and gradually working up to more challenging ones. For example, you might begin by saying hello to a coworker, then progress to joining group conversations or attending social gatherings.
Cognitive restructuring: Identify and challenge negative thought patterns that fuel social anxiety, replacing them with more realistic and balanced beliefs.
Practice social skills: Learning social skills or assertive communication techniques can improve confidence and make interactions less daunting.
Relaxation techniques: Deep breathing exercises, such box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4), can help calm your sympathetic nervous system, which is your body’s anxiety response.
Shift your focus: Instead of focusing on yourself and your anxiety, concentrate on the conversation and show genuine interest in others. This shift in attention can reduce self-consciousness.
Seek support: Support groups, volunteering, or classes such as Toastmaster’s can provide safe spaces to practice social interactions and build confidence.
Professional help: If social anxiety significantly impacts your life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy and, in some cases, medication, can make a significant difference in your ability to overcome social anxiety.
Tackling social anxiety takes courage, time, and effort, but with the right strategies and support, you can build confidence, feel more comfortable in social situations, and derive joy and fulfillment from the relationships and activities in your life.