Overfunctioning: What Are The Signs and How Does It Differ From High Functioning?
When we refer to someone who is “high functioning,” we usually associate them with positive attributes or adjectives: capable, productive, independent, successful, responsible, organized, efficient, or goal-driven. We are likely picturing a person who is able to juggle many demands at once or who can handle stress effectively; someone who can perform essential tasks at optimal levels.
Overfunctioning, on the other hand, describes a person who takes on more than necessary, such as the responsibilities or emotions of others, which usually stems from fear or a desire for control. An overfunctioner may try to “rescue” other people or “fix” situations due to their belief that if they don’t, no one else will. While overfunctioning can masquerade as helpfulness, it can actually be quite harmful to the individual and those around them, especially if their help is not welcomed by others. Overfunctioning can be a way for people to try to manage their anxiety or stress, but it is actually more likely to exacerbate these conditions and lead to burnout and relationship strain.
Unlike high-functioning, overfunctioning is viewed as a negative attribute, and it can be helpful to know some of the signs so you can address the underlying question of what is driving it. Here are some of the common signs of overfunctioning:
Volunteering to take on the responsibilities or duties of others
Reminding partners about appointments or tasks
Having certain goals or expectations for others that they do not have for themselves
Finishing others’ sentences or speaking for them
Setting or monitoring other people’s schedules
Assuming you know what others want or need
Feeling responsible for other people’s needs or wellbeing
Prioritizing others’ needs over your own
Over-extending or exerting yourself to the point of exhaustion
Assuming that if you rest or slow down, everything will “fall apart”
Steering someone away from experiences that may result in failure
Making decisions for others when they are capable of doing so themselves
Giving advice to others without them asking for it
Doing others’ tasks because you think you can do it better
Micromanaging others
At first glance, overfunctioning may not seem so bad, but it can lead to resentment, irritability, anxiety, depression, burnout, and even physical illness. It can also create unhealthy relationship dynamics, often leading the other person to adopt the role of “underfunctioner.” This can discourage others from taking responsibility for their own actions or emotions, contribute to codependency or feelings of helplessness, and prevent others from learning to be self-sufficient or independent. If you think you may be overfunctioning, it can be helpful to work with a therapist in order to address the underlying concerns, learn more adaptive coping strategies, and adopt healthier and more sustainable behavior patterns. Feel free to schedule a complimentary phone consultation to learn more.